Sanctification

Last night there was a meeting at my church for helpers, leaders and coordinators. It went through the essentials and non-essentials of belonging to our church. It was such a great reminder of what Jesus promised and desires for us and from us. It energized me to regain back my time with Him. Lately I have been lacking in my alone time with him. I think back to all the bible studies I used to belong to and lead and my relationship with my Savior was so deep. Of course the studies ended, we joined a church closer to home and one we felt was the biblical teacher God placed the desire in our hearts for. He told us to sit back and wait on Him. Wait for our next journey. At times I was impatient I know. I always was doing or serving or leading. It was so new to me! Mostly though, I cherished the time I had to spend with my family, to watch my kids grow, to hang out with my grandson and to build my sisterly relationships I hold so dear!

Now instead of "wait" I hear " GO!" Seek women hurting. Show them God's love and promises. Teach them how to trust   again. Teach them they are not alone. Women have so much being thrown at them. We feel like we are the only burden toting females around. Women are good at hiding their true feelings and believing they are the only ones that feel that way. For the last few years I have learned how wrong this is! All women struggle. We all struggle with self-esteem, worth, desire, love, trust, belonging, and so much more. We wonder if we are wanted and loved by our husbands, needed by our children, and if we have any true friends. These are all lies fed to us by satan! God teaches us we are cherished and loved and beautiful and worthy. Our husbands need us, our children cry out for us and our girlfriends need our friendship. Praise the Lord for these provisions in our life. 

Our pastor talked about sanctification last night. It is something we need to be continuously work on. The last few months have been hard. My body isn't cooperating and I am most days barely hanging on. I finally am seeing the impact this has on my mood and emotions. I am mad at God for having RA. I am mad that doctors can't find a cure. I am ticked that I am so limited to what I can do. Mostly I am sad how I let satan in to my attitude. So right now I am working on allowing God to change my heart. To trust in His provisions. To believe there is rest and peace for me someday. To let go of trying to get everything done I used to be able to. To allow my house to be a mess because that means we live in it. To allow my kids to enjoy life, not wonder what mood I will be in. I am working on expectations again. To not expect so much from everyone especially my children. Mostly to let go of worrying about my future. God is good and I know He has my back. His path is true. He recreates my walking steps. Turns them from mud of fear, envy, anger, etc. to clean with joy, trust, love and restoration. 

I am held by His boundless grace now and forever.